Eric Joyce Bar Brawl

 
Labour MP Eric Joyce has been found guilty of headbutting a Tory MP and assaulting another three Tories in a Commons bar brawl.

He got a three grand fine, banned from pubs for three months and my fucking vote.

Update - Eric Joyce has tendered his resignation as a member of the Labour party and apologised to colleagues for a bar brawl in parliament.

Social Media Highlight - I blame the system where drinks in Commons bars are half price (the taxpayer makes up the shortfall). Letting a Scotsman loose where the booze is half price is asking for trouble. What I object to about these Scottish MPs-not just this creature but all of them at Westminster- is that due to the devolution terms, they can vote on purely English affairs in the Commons, but English MPs cannot vote on Scottish matters. No wonder the Scots have free prescriptions and no university fees and a lot more!

Sources- Pic The Sun , Evening Standard

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Bear Grylls axed by Discovery over dispute

 

How many bears could Bear Grylls grill if Bear Grylls could grill bears?

Protest at Discovery Channel
 
People are going to protest outside of Discovery's headquarters inside of a dead camel carcass until he is back on the air.

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Confucius Say

Confucius Say...

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Source (Pic) Self Help Daily
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Beyonce - Imgur

this Imgur post appeared today ...


Roses are red
Violets are blue
porn hub is down
beyonce will do.




Best response...

Roses are red, 
my name is dave,
this poem sucks,
microwave.
 
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International Women's Day

 

Today is International Women's Day.

It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready.

Source Text  , International Women's Day 2012

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Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Songwriter Robert B. Sherman has passed away at the age of 86 in London.

He will be remembered as the person who wrote the song from Mary Poppins: 

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

The tongue-twisting term, sung by magical nanny Mary Poppins, is like much of Sherman's work both complex and instantly memorable, for child and adult alike. Once heard, it was never forgotten.

Source Pic Crushable

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The Rainbow Sherbert Trust

Louise White, aged 81, of Newport, R.I., is the winner of the third-largest Powerball jackpot in the history of the game: $336.4 million.

White's ticket, which cost $3, was the only ticket that matched all the numbers: 1-10-37-52-57 and Powerball 11.

 It was sold at the Stop & Shop supermarket at 250 Bellevue Ave. in Newport.

The Rainbow Sherbert Trust is named after the dessert she purchased while buying the winning ticket. White said it is her son's favorite dessert.

Rainbow Sherbert

White chose to accept the lump sum payment of $210 million, rather than the 30 payments paid out over 29 years. She will pay $52.5 million in federal taxes and more than $14 million in state taxes.

Well done Louise - pity the tax man had to gouge so much of it!

Pic CBS Boston

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FIFA gets angry backlash from Brazil

The 2014 World Cup will be the first in South America since Argentina hosted the tournament in 1978, and the first in Brazil since 1950.
Mr Valcke strongly criticised Brazil's infrastructure and the slow pace of the World Cup preparations

The Secretary General of FIFA Mr Jerome Valcke said Brazil needed a "kick up the backside" and appeared to be more concerned with winning the World Cup than organising it!

Volcke has subsequently written a letter apologising for his comment.

Brazilian Joke

A blond and her husband are sitting on the couch watching TV when the news comes on. The announcer says, "We have terrible news this evening. Two Brazilian people died in a plane crash."

Immediately after hearing this the blond starts balling. Her husband responds by telling her that they knew the risks when they signed up for the flight. And she replies, "No no no, how many is a Brazilian?".
 
Source Image via Blottr
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Fernando Torres Chelsea

 
Torres is now the holder of a new footballing record.

He is now averaging 1.6 goals a manager at Chelsea.

Source by Text , Image via Goal
 

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Subway Special Offer

 
I saw Subways lunch offer this lunchtime -

'£3 - Choose between 8 Subs and a Drink'

Erm... 8 Subs please!

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Nicole Minetti from Dentistry to Parliament - Only in Italy!

Nicole in Parliament

Last year there was an Italian gossip story where Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi had his teeth smashed & needed dental work. Ironically, he ended up visiting a hygienist named Nicole Minetti, who just graduated from hygiene schooling. Silvs eventually recruited Ms. Minetti to run for political office.

On Holiday

I wonder what Gillard the ''childless, atheist, ex-communist'' thinks of all this?

Dental Jokes

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want Novacaine because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."

Pulling Tooth Joke

A man walks into the dentist's office and after the dentist examines him, he says, "that tooth has to come out. I'm going to give you a shot of Novocain and I'll be back in a few minutes."
The man grabs the dentist's arm, "no way. I hate needles I'm not having any shot!"
So the dentist says, "okay, we'll have to go with the gas."
The man replies, "absolutely not. It makes me very sick for a couple of days. I'm not having gas."
So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "here," he says. "Take this pill."
The man asks "What is it?"
The doc replies, "Viagra."
The man looks surprised, "will that kill the pain?" he asks.
"No," replies the dentist, "but it will give you something to hang on to while I pull your tooth!"

Sources and Images from Dental Affairs , Listal , Busted Coverage

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Happy Gilmore Meme - Twitter Facebook Hash

When I see people post # on Facebook

Here is the relevant clip from Happy Gilmore.




Source Imgur , You Tube

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Israel Jokes - iphone

 
Saw this pop up on the Interwebs - not sure how staged it is but if not its pretty good.

Source autocowrecks

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Vladimir Putin wins 3rd term

Hmmm - Putin is voted back in with a whopping 64% of the vote - and yep there are huge cries of vote rigging being shouted out amongst the Interwebs. There is even some security camera footage of an 'official' feeding in ballots one after another.

Putin Joke with a twist...

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.  While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes.  When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies: “Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call.”

Images PunditKitchen , Verydemotivational


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Engelbert Humperdinck in Eurovision 2012

 
Engelbert Humperdinck and the Eurovision Song Contest are ideally suited. The contest draws a TV audience of 100 million people, although no one ever admits to watching it...


Engelbert Humperdinck has sold 150 million albums, but it is impossible to find anybody who owns one

Source Telegraph
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