Won't ever do this to an Asian again.

So True.

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North Korean Football Chants - Pick of the best from today Twitter trending topic

This was the number one trending topic on Twitter today.
Thought it was rather humorous....

If the combined South Korea US military exercises don't set him off maybe social media wisecracks will.

Kimmy, give us a wave!Kimmy, Kimmy, give us a wave!Whhheeeyy!Kimmo! Kimmo! Kimmo!#NorthKoreanFootballChants twitter.com/jackscarfe/sta…
— Jack Scarfe (@jackscarfe) April 4, 2013

#NorthKoreanFootballChants He'll shoot, He'll score, He'll start a nuclear war, Kim Jong Un, King Jong Un
— Martin Webb (@MisterWebb) April 4, 2013

#NorthKoreanFootballChants He's young, he's flash, he fills the air with ash. Kim-Jong Un, Kim-Jong Un!
— Footy Humour (@FootyHumour) April 4, 2013

#NorthKoreanFootballChants Oh when the nukes, go flying in, oh when the nukes go flying in. I wanna be in that bunker, oh when the nukes
— Josh Spoelstra (@Spollyy) April 3, 2013

He's big, he's slow, his best mates with Di Canio. Kim Jong-un! #NorthKoreanFootballChants
— Andrew Bradburn (@DrewBradburn) April 4, 2013

Add your favourites in the comments section.

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Pope in shock resignation - Pope Jokes

The Pontiff is leaving the Vatican

 

The Pope is resigning. He will soon be known as Ex-Benedict.

Pope Resigns.
True Catholic pulls out early. 

I knew the Pope was leaving when I spotted him at the karaoke last night, singing. "That's me in the corner, that's me in the spotlight losing my religion"...... 

Got a Pope Joke? Add yours in the comments box

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Atheism and Religion

Atheism

 

Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin.

One prefers to use its head, while the other relies on tales.

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HMV and Blockbuster in receivership

HMV in receivership along with Blockbuster and Jessops

 
Due to the closure of HMV and Blockbuster,
you can now buy Steven Spielberg's 'War Horse'
At the food section in Tesco's....

meanwhile...

Went to the fridge to check my burgers, aaaaannndddd they're off!  

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Benew Weightloss programme

 
My wife changed into her bikini at the beach, and stood posing in front of me. "Well," she said, "I've lost a stone. Can you see a difference?"

I picked up a pebble and tossed it in the ocean. "The beach has lost a stone," I said. "Can you see a difference?"


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John Lennon - Love Me Do

Love Me Do - Beatles Song got to No 17 on the charts

 
The Beatles' song, "Love Me Do" was written by John Lennon after he'd had a really good haircut.

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Zig Ziglar - Optimism Quote

 
I'm so optimistic I'd go after Moby Dick in a row boat & take the tartar sauce with me. Zig Ziglar

Image Arena Italia

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Alex Ferguson celebrates the New Year

 
Sir Alex Ferguson will be celebrating the new year at about 12-08 am.

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Van Persie left on the bench

 
Sir Alex Ferguson defended his decision to leave Van Persie on the bench for today's match in the rain claiming...

"The boy could have drowned!"

Image via Mirror 

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Liverpool boss Rodgers thinks Liverpool can still finish 2nd

Rodgers | Liverpool can finish 2nd

 
When Brendan Rodgers said he thought Liverpool could finish second I didn't realise he meant in every game. 

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Kate Middleton Pregnant

Kate enduring morning sickness

Kate Middleton has said if she has a boy she will call him by the most popular British boy's name at the moment.

We look forward to the arrival of baby Mohammed.

Joke via Sickipedia , Image via MediaBistro 

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Mitt Romney blew $800m not becoming president

Mitt Romney spent $800m on not becoming president of the USA. I spent $1.00 and got the same result, except I have a Mars Bar. 

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Lincoln Movie

Lincoln

 

Lincoln has been doing well in cinemas.

How times change. 

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Chemist Jokes

Chemist Jokes

 
I walked up to the counter in the chemist and just my luck there was a girl serving.

"Erm... Morning," I said, "I need some erm... God, this is embarrassing..."

"Don't you worry sir," she leaned in and whispered reassuringly, "I get this every day!"

I smiled back.

"Condoms?" she said.

"No," I said.

"Suppositories?" she said.

"No," I said.

"Tampons?"

"No."

"Well, it can't be that embarrassing then, sir," she said with a smile.

"Paracetamol," I said.

"Paracetamol?" she gave me a puzzled look. "£1.99 please. What's so embarrassing?"

Then I pulled out my little pink purse.  



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